Serious Gambling Addiction and Debt - Advice Needed ASAP

[joeduffy72]

Hi

I've been struggling with gambling addiction for the last couple of year and had managed to keep things at a level until recently when my mother was diagnosed with secondary cancer and I ended up being off work with stress and anxiety for a few months and prescribed medication.

This last week I went completely off the scale - and gambled at some casinos that I have self excluded from, some sites I wasn't aware of their relationship to sites I had excluded from but they let me join anyway and their response was that they didn't check as the payment method was different. They said they would not return any deposits as the difference in payment form meant they didn't pick it up - plus one site said that I had asked for my other account to be closed due to gambling addiction (the email from the company stated the account closure and called it self exclusion) this particularly casino said that they were wrong as I had closed my account and not requested self exclusion so cannot have any deposit returned.

 

In my mania I joined casino.com and used my paypal account, saturday night I spent £1000 and even though I had opportunities to withdraw with all my money I carried on until I had nothing left, I was awake all day and night in a mania and then yesterday started gambling again with casino.com - increasing my bets and manically betting larger sums. I noticed that one of the representatives had come onto chat in a window to the right of the screen and in desperation I told that I can't stop that I need help.

My account was closed immediately - and I had spent over £5000 in total and not withdrawn a single penny even though I had winnings at points, I carried on in a mania just putting money in from my paypal account and gambling away with no reason or logic.

 

I explained in an email to the representative from Casino.com after they emailed me to inform me of the closure that I am in an extreme sitiuation, I have no money and serious debt, my bank account is under control and maxed to it's overdraft limit and now I owe Paypal £5000. I don't know how I can pay them and I didn't realise they would just keep charging money with no limitations.

 

I don't know what to do, I have asked the casino if they will refund me or help me in some way as I was out of control and it was only when their rep intervened I was able to have some form of block.

 

It's my own fault and I haven't slept for two days, I can't afford to visit my mum and I've made a real mess of everything, I feel so stupid and lost, any advice would be much appreciated.

 

 

[ValDes]

Hi there, 

 

First of all, really to sorry you went that far with your gambling addiction. But there is still hope and you should not give up. Strongly encourage you reading through this guide, it's an old one and I wrote it years ago, but it could still give you a pretty good idea what to do from now on

 

SOS, I am addicted to gambling - what to do?

 

Stay strong and good luck!

[Afi4wins]

OMG!!! 

 

Someone, somewhere, out there, has a very similar addiction problem as yours JoeJoe, and these people need real desperate help immediately, before they do the inevitable and the unthinkable. You know what I mean, right? I've read of many gamblers who couldn't live up to their gambling losses, huge losses, and ended all their problems with the easy way out, leaving the family to suffer the consequences. This is really bad, and unthinkable. 

 

Hope you get some counselling help immediately mate! 

[bluffy67]

Hi Joe Joe,I read your post with a lump in my throat.I feel so sorry for you.Please get proffesional help as soon as possible.Check out any local Gamblers anonymous groups where you can interact and get help from people in a similar position to you.The main thing is you have to stop gambling you cant do it on your own.Also after you have done this face up to what you owe.Contact anyone you owe money to and arrange affordable payment plans.I know it wont feel like it at the moment but there are a lot of people out there worse off than you.I am new here so I dont know if this would be possible but I wonder if anyone official from Ask Gamblers could contact Casino.com on your behalf to explain your situation and maybe show them this post.Stay strong bud,try and follow my advice and there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

[joeduffy72]

Thanks for all your support and advice everyone, it's tough, really tough - and today made me realise how lucky I am to have such fantastic children and a supportive partner but also how I've been hiding this for a long time - dealing with so many issues, including the meltdowns and tensions my eldest son suffers from due to his Asperger's - my gambling was a way to escape the stress, of the pressure and extreme workloads but also an escape at extreme situations of trauma and pain such as the past few days have been (the past 6 months have been *****!).

It's thinking of everything that I've taken away from my family with my stupid compulsive gambling, of all the struggle we face financially because of my illness that really hurts, and it's them and seeing the joy in my youngest sons eyes when I'm with him that stop me from ever doing anything stupid, I could never leave them on their own and could never take that route for their sake - even though at the moment it feels like a complete black hole, I need to find a way to completely be self excluded from every single casino in the world and to seek help with this addiction, my mental health and the and the linked vices of alcohol and drug abuse which all add together and make this ten times worse.

Casino.com could see I was going crazy depositing £200 every 5 or 10 minutes, somethings £400, £500, £100, completely random amounts as nothing was real at that moment in time, I had even gone from having £50 to £1000 and lost it all in an hour or so and kept on depositing, no notion of withdrawing money existed as it just felt like a game, like a demo version where you keep on playing and playing and playing, luckily the operator appeared otherwise it could have ended up being 10k, 50,k 100k, 500k - whatever paypal would have carried on allowing to be taken - with no questioning or challenging of why - at least banks contact you if they see something so irregular - unfortunately this casino failed to - and paypal too.

 

The main thing now is to try and refocus, try to get help and counselling and move on, to try and recover what I can from this mess I've ended up in!
 

Thanks for the support everyone, it's great to know there's such understanding here, I really really appreciate it.

[LilianInThaHouse]

Thanks for all your support and advice everyone, it's tough, really tough - and today made me realise how lucky I am to have such fantastic children and a supportive partner but also how I've been hiding this for a long time - dealing with so many issues, including the meltdowns and tensions my eldest son suffers from due to his Asperger's - my gambling was a way to escape the stress, of the pressure and extreme workloads but also an escape at extreme situations of trauma and pain such as the past few days have been (the past 6 months have been *****!).

It's thinking of everything that I've taken away from my family with my stupid compulsive gambling, of all the struggle we face financially because of my illness that really hurts, and it's them and seeing the joy in my youngest sons eyes when I'm with him that stop me from ever doing anything stupid, I could never leave them on their own and could never take that route for their sake - even though at the moment it feels like a complete black hole, I need to find a way to completely be self excluded from every single casino in the world and to seek help with this addiction, my mental health and the and the linked vices of alcohol and drug abuse which all add together and make this ten times worse.

Casino.com could see I was going crazy depositing £200 every 5 or 10 minutes, somethings £400, £500, £100, completely random amounts as nothing was real at that moment in time, I had even gone from having £50 to £1000 and lost it all in an hour or so and kept on depositing, no notion of withdrawing money existed as it just felt like a game, like a demo version where you keep on playing and playing and playing, luckily the operator appeared otherwise it could have ended up being 10k, 50,k 100k, 500k - whatever paypal would have carried on allowing to be taken - with no questioning or challenging of why - at least banks contact you if they see something so irregular - unfortunately this casino failed to - and paypal too.

 

The main thing now is to try and refocus, try to get help and counselling and move on, to try and recover what I can from this mess I've ended up in!

 

Thanks for the support everyone, it's great to know there's such understanding here, I really really appreciate it.

Hello JOEJOE2000

Try to accept loss, it will take time but accept your mistake and say, I will do my best to never repeat this before. This should never happen again .

Be strong and good luck!

[JackElevers]

Such a sad story, I am sorry to hear this JoeJoe. You've come to the right place for help. There's plenty of great advice here and a real community vibe from what I have seen reading threads. Personally, I hope you can sort this, and I hope you don't mind me offering a few suggests:

 

1) Open up to everyone close to you - this is your support network! You need them more than ever now and those who love you will truly understand your pain and do what they can to help you. Some may offer financial help, whilst others may simply provide an ear to listen to you. Its obvious that this is an external factor causing your addiction, so it's imperative you try and talk about it to take the pressure off your shoulders and get it off your chest.

 

2) Close all accounts, contact all providers, even ones you're not a member of and ask the to block your email and ip address. 

 

3) If not every account is closed, ask your partner to change the password and 'forget it'. 

 

Hope this helps,

J

[joeduffy72]

Thanks everyone,

I've told my partner of how serious this is - and how lucky I am to have her in my life, I was in a situation where I was out of control and had hurt her with my reckless behaviour, she knew I was gambling but not to this extent. I am now left with 20k in debt in total with most of it covered by cards/loans/overdraft except for the paypal amount which I really don't know how to pay back yet unless I can extend my credit cards.

 

I am looking to start repaying everything step by step and to be gamble free - casino.com have had a series of emails with me and even though the betting pattern was so extreme and constant they accept no responsibility for stepping in at any point. It's my own fault so I need to accept responsibility I just don't know where to find another £6k to pay this debt.

 

I am lucky to have a loving family and a job and lucky enough to have woken up from this with such a serious shock. I don't ever want to gamble, ever again so I will fight hard to stop this addiction. It almost destroyed everything I have so I need to give my family what they need, my love and attention, and not let my children see their father as a pathetic addict.

[ValDes]

Reading your last post makes me feel optimistic that you gonna overcome the problem gambling eventually! Good luck mate and stay strong!

[Afi4wins]

That's the right spirit JoeJoe! 

 

Stick to it all the way...and you'll come out a fresh new clean man!

It may be like giving a first ever bath to an alley cat, but once it's done, she'll be a nice homely cat! Or whatever.! 

[joeduffy72]

Thanks folks, I've been gamble free since that day and it feels good already. I still have Paypal chasing me but I'm waiting for a loan to get approved to pay them off. I also had some money refunded from Rank (£680) due to them allowing me to gamble while self excluded. This has gone straight to Paypal so it keeps me from going to a debt collector while waiting for funds.

 

I've got complaints against Entertainment Play as I requested to close an account some time back but they refused to acknowledge it as self exclusion even though the response back included self-exclusion so I've taken it up with their senior management, I'm going through all casinos to self exclude and making sure I cannot gamble again.

 

I've been on a tight budget and have got a schedule of repayments so I can save for my family and pay my debts and actually start fixing things around me (including the sofa and chairs that are propped up by books as I had no money to repair the broken legs - I bought it with a big win less than 3 years ago and it's already falling apart! So I've finally had the time to actually research my consumer rights and contact the company to ask for them to repair it under the Limitations act and Sale Goods Act 1979).

 

Taking up Yoga with a friend and installed a meditation software (10 minute sessions) on my phone to help me get focused!

 

Thanks for all your advice and help, it's not going to be easy but I'm taking it day by day!

[Afi4wins]

Well done JoeJoe! That is wonderful news to hear from you...definite positive steps all the way! 

You should be back on the right track after some time, even if it takes a year or two, but coming back to real life the second time around! 

[joeduffy72]

Thanks Afi!

First step - Admitting to the problem

Second Step - exclusion

Third Step - pay back debts and sort out finances

 

Fourth Step - fix the damn sofa!!

[Afi4wins]

You're most welcome JoeJoe. 

[ValDes]

Bravo, JoeJoe! Massive thumbs up for your courage and will to fight the problem gambling!

 

It will become better by the day and once you are back on the right life track, sincerely hope you could soon forget about the bad gambling days... 

[busted]

Well my recomendation is to stay  away from any online casino <SNIP>  I have done the same misstake, i would espacially avoid any platform related to BLM Group Ltd

Edited January 24, 2017 by cocopop3011
EDITED: PLEASE STICK TO FORUM RULES

[cocopop3011]

Well my recomendation is to stay  away from any online casino  I have done the same misstake, i would espacially avoid any platform related to BLM Group Ltd

 

busted

 

Your post has been edited and I have deleted your unjustified accusations. If you plan on staying here please make sure your future posts abide by our Forum Rules

[busted]

My intention was not to make any unjustified accustations all i wanted to say was you can never be shure even though it is a lot of regulation and you have no control what so ever as a private person about what is going one some elswhere  in any game, but i must then appologise if i was clumsy and violated any rules, if all outcomes is fair then all is good 

[cocopop3011]

My intention was not to make any unjustified accustations all i wanted to say was you can never be shure even though it is a lot of regulation and you have no control what so ever as a private person about what is going one some elswhere  in any game, but i must then appologise if i was clumsy and violated any rules, if all outcomes is fair then all is good 

 

I can only assume you've had a bad experience but if you do your research online gambling can be perfectly safe and enjoyable. 

 

P.S Apology accepted 

[MacdoniS]

 Hey JOE you can do it you can overcome what you're experiencing right now even I and many of players here had different problems financially and socially but this was a lesson learned from most of us. I hope it for you too you can do it mate. 

[MacdoniS]

 Hey JOE you can do it you can overcome what you're experiencing right now even I and many of players here had different problems financially and socially but this was a lesson learned from most of us. I hope it for you too you can do it mate. 

[LeoDubbed]

When something dramatic happens that could changed your life forever we try to find an escape/comfort, alcohol, drugs or in this case gambling. When you're vunerable it is easy for addiction to take over our life because addiction gives us a temporarily comfortness and makes us forget what's happened in the real world just for a while.

I am sorry for the bad things that happened in your life and I wish you and your family well.

Be strong and stay strong!

[Brian.Morin]

It's been 4 years and I'm interested to know if you managed to overcome all the difficulties that arose in you due to your gambling addiction.
Personally, I had a few situations where I lost more than I could afford, but I mastered myself in time and stopped playing for a while. At the same time, I turned to a psychologist to discuss my motivation. This has helped me find a few more hobbies that I enjoy and I hardly gamble now.
I hope you are well, your family is happy, and you, even if you play sometimes, do it for fun and without much risk.