cocopop3011 Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Just read a brilliant joke about casinos which gave me an idea to start a thread for jokes. Somewhere we can come when we have lost some money or had a row with live help, read joke of the day and cheers yourself up.(I think it would be a good idea not to focus on the addiction part of gambling....due to the possibility of offending other members)No other rules...anything goes. No swearing of courseI will come and post a joke everyday (to the best of my ability lol) but would like some help too.P.s I'm not sure whether this should be in the quote of the day post, can u move if it is please Valdes and edit this bit out lol) SikhJedi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 8, 2013 Author Share Posted July 8, 2013 Last night I got thrown out of the casino. I completely misunderstood the cr*p table Luciana and ValDes 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 9, 2013 Author Share Posted July 9, 2013 What is the only way to keep your money from the casinos in Vegas? When you get off the plane walk into the propellers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 10, 2013 Author Share Posted July 10, 2013 Q: How's a casino like a woman? A: Liquor in the front, poker in the back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ValDes Posted July 11, 2013 Share Posted July 11, 2013 No comment! Luciana, JulianP and cocopop3011 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 11, 2013 Author Share Posted July 11, 2013 FunnyPart-com-casino.jpg No comment! Haha! Wasn't sure whether or not that one should be posted..but I thought go on be a dare devil Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 11, 2013 Author Share Posted July 11, 2013 I lost £20 playing poker with my mobile phone. By mistake, I called myself. Luciana 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 12, 2013 Author Share Posted July 12, 2013 A wife offered to share her money with her husband if he would share his money with her. He said, "all right. Where is your money?" She replied, "in that slot machine ove there!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 13, 2013 Author Share Posted July 13, 2013 Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table. A very attractive lady comes in and wants to bet twenty- thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm bottomless." With that she strips naked from the waist down, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs a new pair of pants!" She then begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers. "YES! I WIN! I WIN!" With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?" The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching!" LordCronal 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ValDes Posted July 13, 2013 Share Posted July 13, 2013 Sharon, you have just broke my heart with the latest joke! It describes almost perfectly the way I ''lost'' my wallet+cell phone at a party two years ago!!!!!! LordCronal 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 13, 2013 Author Share Posted July 13, 2013 Sharon, you have just broke my heart with the latest joke! It describes almost perfectly the way I ''lost'' my wallet+cell phone at a party two years ago!!!!!! What u were watching some girls strip naked and she took your phone?? Lol what Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ValDes Posted July 13, 2013 Share Posted July 13, 2013 What u were watching some girls strip naked and she took your phone?? Lol what Haha, not actually. Ok let me tell you the story. Not that I'm too proud of it, but still ... I was invited to a friend's bachelor party a couple of years ago. And you know what boys like most at those parties, don't ya?! So, at the peak of the party we were visited not by one, but from two "highly educated and genteel" ladies, who started ''preaching some chaste guidance'' straight of the door! At the end of the ''preach'' we were so ready to praise the Lord', that didn't even noticed the bag of the second woman, which was already 'equiped' with most of our wallets and cell phones! So they left the apartment, leaving us with our tongues hanging out and we noticed the 'lacks' almost an hour later, when we tried to call for a cab... Luckily one of the company was a policeman, so we managed to ''localize'' the charming ladies in no time and to get back what's ours. And thanks God, otherwise I don't even want to imagine what I was going to explain to my wife! No more strippers anymore, I promise! Danny0801 and hajnrih 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 14, 2013 Author Share Posted July 14, 2013 Haha, not actually. Ok let me tell you the story. Not that I'm too proud of it, but still ... I was invited to a friend's bachelor party a couple of years ago. And you know what boys like most at those parties, don't ya?! So, at the peak of the party we were visited not by one, but from two "highly educated and genteel" ladies, who started ''preaching some chaste guidance'' straight of the door! At the end of the ''preach'' we were so ready to praise the Lord', that didn't even noticed the bag of the second woman, which was already 'equiped' with most of our wallets and cell phones! So they left the apartment, leaving us with our tongues hanging out and we noticed the 'lacks' almost an hour later, when we tried to call for a cab... Luckily one of the company was a policeman, so we managed to ''localize'' the charming ladies in no time and to get back what's ours. And thanks God, otherwise I don't even want to imagine what I was going to explain to my wife! No more strippers anymore, I promise! Hahahahahahahahahaha ha. Typical man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 14, 2013 Author Share Posted July 14, 2013 What do you call a girl who is always in the bookies? Betty! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ValDes Posted July 14, 2013 Share Posted July 14, 2013 Hahahahahahahahahaha ha. Typical man Hihihihihihihi! Typical woman!!! :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 14, 2013 Author Share Posted July 14, 2013 Hihihihihihihi! Typical woman!!! :p Good comeback smarty pants Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 16, 2013 Author Share Posted July 16, 2013 I know a guy at the casino who wont gamble. He just watches the games and makes mental bets. Last week, he lost his mind James15 and ValDes 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordCronal Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 Betsson is a joke, or atleast their Finnish customer service is. Few my countrymen made deposits because freespins to Mega Fortune were promised and however, those made 10/25 lines again... Betsson made that few times earlier and once I went also to trap in last year.Then customer service said that Mega Fortune freespins are always 10/25 lines and it is made by NetEnt. However, I have seen so many times freespins to Mega Fortune in full lines in other casinos. ValDes 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 16, 2013 Author Share Posted July 16, 2013 Betsson is a joke, or atleast their Finnish customer service is. Few my countrymen made deposits because freespins to Mega Fortune were promised and however, those made 10/25 lines again... Betsson made that few times earlier and once I went also to trap in last year. Then customer service said that Mega Fortune freespins are always 10/25 lines and it is made by NetEnt. However, I have seen so many times freespins to Mega Fortune in full lines in other casinos. I'm sure when I've had free spins at betsson on Megan fortune all the lines have been active, at least I assumed they were Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LordCronal Posted July 16, 2013 Share Posted July 16, 2013 Well, I stopped to believing them when they lied to me of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ValDes Posted July 17, 2013 Share Posted July 17, 2013 I'm sure when I've had free spins at betsson on Megan fortune all the lines have been active, at least I assumed they were Hmm, this 'interesting, brand new NetEnt slot' is quite funny, isn't it?! Plachaweele, Adriandync and LordCronal 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 17, 2013 Author Share Posted July 17, 2013 Hmm, this 'interesting, brand new NetEnt slot' is quite funny, isn't it?! Hahahahaha....it's this stupid predictive text! Hahahaha. Funny though. If that slot ever does get released I deserve the royalties on it. Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 17, 2013 Author Share Posted July 17, 2013 In Vegas, they’ll bet on anything. One casino was ready to let me bet on whether I’d win or lose Luciana 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 18, 2013 Author Share Posted July 18, 2013 Why isn't gambling allowed in Africa? Because of all the cheetahs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cocopop3011 Posted July 20, 2013 Author Share Posted July 20, 2013 Q: What do dealers eat for dessert? A: Dice pudding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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