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Posted

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine.

 

Officer: You were speeding.

Man: No, I wasn't.

Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.

Man: But I wasn't speeding.

Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)

Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?

Officer: Yes, you would.

Man: What if I just thought that you were?

Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.

Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!

Posted

Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.

One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"

Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women that I have wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."

His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."

A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"

With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."

The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"

Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."

Posted

A student is talking to his teacher.

 

Student: "Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?"

Teacher:" Of course not."

Student: "Good, because I haven't done my homework."

Posted

A Very Funny beautiful girl was a college student.

 

Once Very Funny Girl comes late to class.

 

Teacher: Why are you late?

 

Very Funny Girl : One boy was following me, sir.

 

Teacher: So, What?

 

Very Funny Girl : That boy was walking very slow.

Posted

There were two desi lovers: Lalu & Rabri. They loved each other so much that they planned to do Suicide.

 

Lalu jumped first.

 

Now it was Rabri's turn.

 

Rabri closed her eyes, and returned back saying Love is Blind.

 

Lalu, in mid-air opened his parachute saying Love never Dies.

Posted

School Kid: Why are some of your hair white mom?

 

Mom: Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me unhappy, one of my hair turns white.

 

Funny Kid thought for a moment, and then said, "Mamma, how come *all* of grandma’s hair are white?”

Posted

This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked.

 

She stuck her head out and said, 'Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes...'

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