Haha thread

[Luciana]

Hello!!


As we have a "Funny videos" thread, I thought it would be cool to have another funny topic, where you can post jokes, funny photos/pictures, anecdotes...

Here is one cute funny picture about poker

[Black Diamond]

LOL I love it!

 

This guy walks into a butcher and asks, "Can I have those from the top shelf please". The butcher replies, "Sorry, the steaks are too high."

 

[klarissa]

not casino related but,

 

soooo cute <3

[Luciana]

Hahaha Adorable! It doesn't need to be related to casinos

[klarissa]

"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.

"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"

"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.

"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"

"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."

 

[Cheryl55]

Lol klarissa!!! That would so happen to me

 

"Two dyslexics walked into a bra."

[klopklop]

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?

Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

[klopklop]

Man Wins the Lottery:

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Martha, pack up your things. I just won the California lottery!"

Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"

The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!"

 

lol

[klopklop]

Little Old Lady Bets The Bank

A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank, and says she wants to open a savings account. The accounts person asks her how much she would like to deposit to open the account and the little old lady says, "Three million dollars."

The accounts person is startled, and says, "In what form?" and the little old lady says, "Cash. I've got it here in this bag..." and the accounts person looks and, sure enough, the lady has a big grocery bag just chock full of green stuff with big denominations.

 

This is a highly unusual event, and the accounts person excuses herself to get the president of the bank to handle this one. He arrives, and escorts the little old lady to his office to handle it personally.

 

Once in his office, he asks the little old lady where she got so much money.

 

She says, "Gambling."

 

"Gambling?", he says. "What sort of gambling?"

 

"Oh, I make bets with people on all sorts of things, and I usually win. For example, I've got $100,000 right here that says that by noon tomorrow your balls will be square, and I'll even give you 4:1 odds. You got $25,000 you'd be willing to wager on that?"

 

The bank president is shocked at this sort of thing coming from a sweet little old lady, but he didn't get to be the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank without knowing something about money. "I suppose I could come up with enough to cover that sort of wager, but I wouldn't feel right taking it from you...there's no way you can win a bet like that!"

 

The little old lady just shook the bag, and said, "I know what I'm doing...and I can afford to lose, though I'm not going to. Is it a bet?"

 

"Ok, have it your way", said the president, and they shook hands on it.

 

"See you at 11:55 tomorrow morning", said the little old lady, and with that she left.

 

Next morning at 11:55 the little old lady arrives with a younger man in a three-piece suit, and is escorted to the bank president's office. The president is a nervous wreck, though a happy one. He'd gotten almost no sleep the night before, waking every few minutes to feel his balls to check for impending squareness, but nothing happened all night. He had checked hundreds of times that morning, but still nothing; perfectly normal.

 

When the little old lady arrived he started to relax, knowing he had won.

 

"Come in, please have a seat! Who might this gentleman be?" said the president.

 

"He's my lawyer. For a bet of this size I want to have a witness. Any objections?"

 

"No, perfectly understandable", said the president. "Well, it's now noon, and I'm still unchanged, so I guess I win!" he said happily.

 

"Not so fast!" said the little old lady. "For a hundred grand I want to verify things personally! Please drop your pants."

 

The bank president is a bit flustered, but agrees that in her position he'd want proof as well, so he drops his pants. The little old lady goes over to him and reaches out to feel the organs in question.

 

"Ok, you win, here's your $100,000," says the little old lady, handing over a bag of bills. As she does so, her lawyer starts banging his head against the wall and moaning.

 

"What's wrong with him?" asks the bank president.

 

"Oh, he's just upset. Poor loser if you ask me. You see, I had a bet for $1,000,000 with him that I would have the President of the Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls by noon today."

[Luciana]

Hahaha, klopklop, seems that you really enjoy these funny threads! I'm so glad!

 

Here's something about the money

[klopklop]

If You’re A Gambler, Make Sure You Pay Your Child Support

 

[klopklop]

haha, love this topic, lol

 

[klopklop]

ok, final two for today, then i will stop, i could be posting forever if i would, i have a whole lot of pictures here, hahaha

 

 

[klopklop]

ok, one more then

 

 

just kidding ladies.....lol

[klopklop]

new day, new pics......

 

[klopklop]

 

 

[isaac]

You got that right with the women one klop!

 

I could look at these pictures all day mate lol

[klopklop]

Me on Holiday, lol

 

[klopklop]

true....

 

[Luciana]

Hahahahahaaa, the last one is so funny!

[klopklop]

Nice bumper sticker!!

 

[klopklop]

[Luciana]

Mostly true

[Luciana]

:D

[klopklop]