catapultaudio

Has many people seen Cyanide and Happiness comic strips? My girlfriend thinks they're hilarious. They aren't for everyone, some of the topics are rather un-pc but this is one I think is pretty good. Pretty tame for C&H but no less funny.
 

How cute.! Would have been funnier if three ads hadn't popped up either side of the screen, encouraging me to subscribe to the channel and view other videos but also obstructing the view of the kid AND the dog! Way to kill off the joke, dude..! 

Hahaha incredible! I'm stealing this!! 

Be careful what you wish for! Do you want to die young like this pencil?:
 

Hehe, this one tickled me 

I think we have all dreamt about this at some point in time. I know it's pretty boring but for me the dream is just to be able to hand a big pile of cash to those who are most important to me, particularly my parents, my younger siblings, and my nieces and nephews. Just the thought of giving my mum enough money to pay off her mortgage and allow  her to retire early brings a tear to my eye, I would do anything to make that a reality.
 
Love the suggestions of what not to do cocopop      

Before you all get excited when I say big in it's just over 100x however anyone who knows me knows how much I moan about Play'n GO.
 
I've never been a fan, most of their games bore me. However since seeing many a screenshot here I promised a few members I'd start to give some of their games a shot. And low and behold I hit my first ever win of over 100x playing Matsuri.
 
I considered whether or not this single (not really that impressive) screenshot deserved a thread of it's own and then I thought well why not!! You just never know this could be the start of something ....
 
Games I have to 100% rule out though - Pimped! I've tried it I really have but I just don't get excited for this game at all. Still don't know what I think of Play'n GO yet, need a lot more time, next on my list is Prissy Princess and I'd really appreciate some more suggestions...
 
Anyway here is my first (ever) big win on Play'n GO as promised
 

I absolutely agree that often it seems natural to include details of a casinos welcome bonus offers when writing casino reviews, because its a major factor for many people I believe in choosing whether to begin playing at a new place. That's certainly the case for me anyway. That said, I think there are some outstanding bonus offers around, which deserve a little more space to talk about than is appropriate to use up in a general casino review. I only wrote one bonus review last month, but I have several more welcome bonuses in mind that I'd like to share a little about, and of course, my favourite monthly reloads - which is a topic I'm always keen to hear about from other players too.

I absolutely agree that often it seems natural to include details of a casinos welcome bonus offers when writing casino reviews, because its a major factor for many people I believe in choosing whether to begin playing at a new place. That's certainly the case for me anyway. That said, I think there are some outstanding bonus offers around, which deserve a little more space to talk about than is appropriate to use up in a general casino review. I only wrote one bonus review last month, but I have several more welcome bonuses in mind that I'd like to share a little about, and of course, my favourite monthly reloads - which is a topic I'm always keen to hear about from other players too.

That is such garbage mate.. I've been trying to cut you some slack, listen to what you have to say ... discuss your system, for all its faults.. but that really is just an addict in denial talking there mate !! Your module 6 states you will bet between 1/100 to 1/300 of your bankroll. A sensible assumption would be this depends on the variance of the game you are playing? So, you know 1/100 on Starburst or 1/300 on DoA? Either way, you bet way over 1/100 anyway, so you didn't respect your own "module" ... but of course, there is an excuse. And that really sucks. You need a module that covers accepting your mistakes, and learning from them.

Then make sure you clearly state that next time! Was it so difficult to say the following for example:
 
 
It is of absolute importance to realize that you, my dear Johnny, are not some 'super star' on the gambling industry's horizon! You are just a man, trying desperately to put his compulsive gambling under control! Simple as that! 

See now THIS is a perfect example of what confuses me about you Johnny. Your supposed to be a knowledgable and experienced gambler, with a LIFETIME of play behind you.. yet you will write off a casino, self exclude yourself permanently over a single session? I MIGHT just be able to understand it, if the details of the session were genuinely terrible, but they really are not - you had $200, yet played DOA at nearly $3 per spin and are surprised you busted out? I cannot understand why? You gave yourself barely 70 spins worth of play, thats not even half the number required to trigger a single set of free spins. Why are you surprised it did not show up? And why on earth do you blame the casino? It isn't their fault. You bet WAY too high for your bankroll on a super high variance game. Occasionally you might have a result doing this, but 9/10 times you should expect to lose badly. And you did.
 
I have seen you write about doing the same thing at a series of great casinos - but hey, its your loss of course... would just be fascinated to learn why you think this is a reasonable justification to permanently close your account?

See now THIS is a perfect example of what confuses me about you Johnny. Your supposed to be a knowledgable and experienced gambler, with a LIFETIME of play behind you.. yet you will write off a casino, self exclude yourself permanently over a single session? I MIGHT just be able to understand it, if the details of the session were genuinely terrible, but they really are not - you had $200, yet played DOA at nearly $3 per spin and are surprised you busted out? I cannot understand why? You gave yourself barely 70 spins worth of play, thats not even half the number required to trigger a single set of free spins. Why are you surprised it did not show up? And why on earth do you blame the casino? It isn't their fault. You bet WAY too high for your bankroll on a super high variance game. Occasionally you might have a result doing this, but 9/10 times you should expect to lose badly. And you did.
 
I have seen you write about doing the same thing at a series of great casinos - but hey, its your loss of course... would just be fascinated to learn why you think this is a reasonable justification to permanently close your account?

Ahh.. thanks for the tip. ValDes, any reason why the other games are not included? I never noticed the word "slot" in the first post til I looked again just now
 
Not to worry anyway, happy to contribute

Himself, I can understand your frustration, but I think that Jonny has got himself a legitimate position here now, particularly now the thread title has been changed, which was one of the big issues at the other forum you mentioned. If the majority of members here WERE complaining, it is ValDes that they would be complaining to, therefore I think its safe to say Johnny is not doing annoying too many people here, and ValDes has already sorted out the misleading thread title.
 
Johnny I am interested in WHY the name "PROVEN SYSTEM" is so important to you, also the capital letters?What is the significance? Not sure if it was here I mentioned, but I see what you are doing as being the "harm-reduction" approach to problem gambling. It's the methadone program of the gambling world, for those who are not ready to stop completely but would like to take charge of their addiction rather than it controlling them. It is an admirable persuit, so why not take it seriously? Why ruin the idea by insisting on giving it a name that gamblers will immediately associate with a betting system?
 
Anyway, reading your posts, I think you did well to resist the temptation at the weekend. I still believe you have a serious problem that needs to be addressed, but going on your posts here, it seems your under no illusions about that fact. It would be nice to see you turn a profit this week, after falling flat last time. Nevertheless, if you do finish in profit, don't fool yourself that you can repeat it next week. You get lucky this time, others you don't - there is no style, no SYSTEM that will help to ensure a win. But you already iknow that, right?!
 
One more thing. It's interesting to note how 'tedious' you find it, trying to work your way up to the thousands - you only seem to truly enjoy yourself when you are betting ultra-crazy amounts when you are a grand or more past your cash out point, and "going for the big one". Thats such a dangerous position to be in, but I genuinly envy how exciting it must be. It's not hard to see why it would be addictive!

Hi everyone! I reviewed Great Blue last week, so figured I would make it up to five for the time being:
 
Microgaming Jacks or Better Video Poker
http://www.askgamblers.com/jacks-or-better/jacks-or-better-power-poker-microgaming-game-review/#review-5421ff9370a0f8363a8b456f

Microgaming European Blackjack Gold
http://www.askgamblers.com/blackjack/multi-hand-european-blackjack-gold-microgaming-game-review/#review-5422090b70a0f82d3a8b456e

Microgaming Classic Blackjack
http://www.askgamblers.com/blackjack/classic-blackjack-gold-microgaming-game-review/#review-54220cb270a0f8a93a8b4570

Girls With Guns 2 - Frozen Dawn
http://www.askgamblers.com/video-slots/girls-with-guns-frozen-dawn-game-review/#review-54220f9670a0f8fb108b456e
 
More to come

Himself, I can understand your frustration, but I think that Jonny has got himself a legitimate position here now, particularly now the thread title has been changed, which was one of the big issues at the other forum you mentioned. If the majority of members here WERE complaining, it is ValDes that they would be complaining to, therefore I think its safe to say Johnny is not doing annoying too many people here, and ValDes has already sorted out the misleading thread title.
 
Johnny I am interested in WHY the name "PROVEN SYSTEM" is so important to you, also the capital letters?What is the significance? Not sure if it was here I mentioned, but I see what you are doing as being the "harm-reduction" approach to problem gambling. It's the methadone program of the gambling world, for those who are not ready to stop completely but would like to take charge of their addiction rather than it controlling them. It is an admirable persuit, so why not take it seriously? Why ruin the idea by insisting on giving it a name that gamblers will immediately associate with a betting system?
 
Anyway, reading your posts, I think you did well to resist the temptation at the weekend. I still believe you have a serious problem that needs to be addressed, but going on your posts here, it seems your under no illusions about that fact. It would be nice to see you turn a profit this week, after falling flat last time. Nevertheless, if you do finish in profit, don't fool yourself that you can repeat it next week. You get lucky this time, others you don't - there is no style, no SYSTEM that will help to ensure a win. But you already iknow that, right?!
 
One more thing. It's interesting to note how 'tedious' you find it, trying to work your way up to the thousands - you only seem to truly enjoy yourself when you are betting ultra-crazy amounts when you are a grand or more past your cash out point, and "going for the big one". Thats such a dangerous position to be in, but I genuinly envy how exciting it must be. It's not hard to see why it would be addictive!

Lmao at B and C!

Luciana, the free spin is on a custom bet fair "super slot" an old school style 3 reel machine. According to the pay table 99 free spins are possible, anybody had that yet???
 
Katemak its highly likely the five euro bonus was something different, they take a long time yo credit the free spins, over 48 hours, so try the game again u might find the free spins

Okh, okay, that's interesting
But without that matching possibility with award, 1 free spin wouldn't be worth visiting account and opening a browser
 
What's the maximum that can be won from that free spins without wagering?

Hi Valdes, thank you very much for your feedback I will be sure to use both boxes from now on. More than happy to contribute some reviews on the casinos, games and bonuses I have a good knowledge of.
 
You add up all of the suitable reviews and make a single payment once per month on the 10th is that correct? $5 per review seems really generous, I honestly cannot get my head around that lol ... How is it even possible?! I have written a bunch of stuff like this on other websites in the past just for fun?! Still I'll be sure to put my best efforts in here at AskGamblers with such a great incentive on offer.

Hi Valdes, thank you very much for your feedback I will be sure to use both boxes from now on. More than happy to contribute some reviews on the casinos, games and bonuses I have a good knowledge of.
 
You add up all of the suitable reviews and make a single payment once per month on the 10th is that correct? $5 per review seems really generous, I honestly cannot get my head around that lol ... How is it even possible?! I have written a bunch of stuff like this on other websites in the past just for fun?! Still I'll be sure to put my best efforts in here at AskGamblers with such a great incentive on offer.

Hi Valdes, thank you very much for your feedback I will be sure to use both boxes from now on. More than happy to contribute some reviews on the casinos, games and bonuses I have a good knowledge of.
 
You add up all of the suitable reviews and make a single payment once per month on the 10th is that correct? $5 per review seems really generous, I honestly cannot get my head around that lol ... How is it even possible?! I have written a bunch of stuff like this on other websites in the past just for fun?! Still I'll be sure to put my best efforts in here at AskGamblers with such a great incentive on offer.

I can see why you might say that, but the fact is nobody over there wanted to be nasty to you, its just you post a lot of ridiculous theories as fact - despite the fact that its common knowledge what your saying is untrue. People are going to either a) suspect you must be trolling, after all nobody could be that stupid or try and set you straight for your own benefit, and for the benefit of anybody new to online gaming who might read your posts and be misinformed.
 
My last post directed at you over there was on the day you were banned. It actually said, you would do well to remember the quit gambling forum is not a place to try and push your "proven system". I guess that was good advice, because you ignored it and were immediately banned.
 
Fact is, I have nothing personal against you, I would like to see you learn some more about this hobby you enjoy so much, perhaps that way you will get REAL control of your addiction. I'm not holding my breath though - I fully expect you to continue ignoring the mechanics of online casinos, and everybody elses points of view here as you did over there. HOWEVER, I would love to be proved wrong.

Hi Johnny,
 
Surprised to see they let you back in here, hopefully you won't ***** it up as quick as you did your last chance over at CM. I see there have been some changes to PROVEN SYSTEM recently, you have put back your big launch several times now, is it ever going to happen? Sure am not the only one who can't wait to see if this whole thing is as bizarre and crazy as the rest of your theories with regards online casinos

Anyway, best of luck. Your nothing if not entertaining.